Who comes first; my spouse or my kids?

Today’s newsletter was going to be a very straightforward road. One where I give you facts and findings in research on why you should never love your kids more than your husband.

But as I continued to read through several articles and write-ups that further strengthened my previous stance. But two opinions stood out for me.

One was very clear on the reason you should love your kids more than anything/anyone else in the world. And your partner should as well. Because while you both chose to be parents to your kids and have loved them from the moment they were conceived, you and your partner met not from the beginning of life, but somewhere along the way and slowly became lovers who decided to make a life together. Without your husband, you are still you. Nothing changes. But without both of you as partners, that child would not have come to be. The basis therefore is not that one of you loves the child more than you do each other. But that you both look at that child and know fully well that you will save him/her before you come for one another, if the need ever comes.

The other point of view listed out the many ways she loves her husband more than her kids. Some of those reasons being that they had to come to be before the kids could come. They had to choose one another to make the babies, so they should continue to choose one another. Also the kids would eventually leave the parents. And your partner is who you will be left with. It is better to continue to build that bond now so that it isn’t awkward when you both become empty nesters. And your partner is your centre. My husband is my centre. Truly. He grounds me in ways that no one else could ever do. A lot of times, our partners calm us down from the many screams and many “activities” that our children have put us through. So, he comes first.

Well, I will leave it to you to decide which you think is true for you. Or which opinion you think should be valid for everyone. However, I will rest on this:

There is no basis for comparison. I love my husband beyond what I would ever be able to put into words. He is truly my own. One of the reasons I love him so much is because he chose to have a baby with me and he loves that child so much. And I do as well. So much more than anything else in the entire world. We both fell deeply in love with our baby girl from the minute we knew we were pregnant. And she just melts our heart now that she is growing into this very adorable, beautiful, intelligent, assertive little human. We love that girl a lot. And we love one another. It’s a different kind of love. I don’t think I can explain it.

So, which is it for you; You husband first before your kids or the other way round? Or it is not either or for you? 

What do you think?