Umi Spotlight: Oluwatomi Adewumi-John

With Umi Spotlight, we are sharing the best of what other mothers have figured out both in their motherhood journey and in life.

On this edition, Oluwatomi Adewumi-John shares her experience with healthcare when she had her kids, the traditions from her parents that she will like to continue with her own kids and she also talks about how she has been able to cope with motherhood in a different environment to the one she grew up in. Find out more about her here

Going back to the way you were raised, are there any styles of parenting or traditions your parents raised you with that you now also do with your kid(s)?
There are so many of them but I will name a few: My parents want you to work for whatever achievement you have, I will like to imbibe that too. My parents had a policy of us not using cell phones till we finished secondary school, I'm trying to imbibe that. However, I don't know how far I can go.

What about your upbringing would you prefer not to repeat with your own journey as a parent?
I don’t want to consciously or unconsciously, compare my children to one another in any way.

What do you miss most about your life before kids?
Getting up and go. Now I have to consider them a 100 times before the outing. It has to be really important before I can go.

What assumptions did you have about motherhood that you found untrue after you became a mum?
Sleep when your baby sleeps, child birth is the only difficult stage. Nobody talks about the sleepless night, the tantrums, thinking of them before yourself. To name a few.

What was the best advice you got about being a mother to your kid(s)?
Pray for them always. Love them regardless because they will make mistakes.

What was postpartum like for you? Did you have help? Were there any complications with your mental and physical health? And if there was, how did you deal with it?
All my kids were born via Cesarean section and the healing process was different for each of them. I broke down a few times with my last because I was in a different environment. My husband was able to assist when he could, and we also talked about it. I cried, I zoned out, I prayed, and I got back on my feet. Basically, don't bottle up the emotion. Express it in your own way.

What attributes of yours or that of your husband have you began to see in your kids?
By temperaments, My husband is Choleric and I am beginning to see that in our first daughter. I am a combination of Melancholic and Phlegmatic and I am seeing that in my son.

How do you relax? What is self care for you?
I Netflix and chill, and I enjoy viewing nature; It calms me down.

How do you manage to juggle all your responsibilities without dropping the ball at home, especially in creating time with your kid(s)?
I still struggle with that. However, I try to work with them in mind. When I get tired, I step away and refresh before I get back.

What about motherhood and parenting do you still struggle with?
Juggling 3 kids. The thought of them growing up and being independent of me. But it is a mixed feeling because I also look forward to it too.

How do you discipline your kid(s) (instead of beating them)?
We talk about the behaviour or what has happened. They go on time out. I don't spare the rod; If I have to use it, I do.

What is your proudest moment so far as a mum?
Hmmm! The day I went to the Park with my Daughter and an older child was telling her to do some thing wrong and I told her not to. The older child told her to just ignore me and do it anyways, but she said 'My mama said NO, I will not disobey her." I knew right then that I was doing something right.

How is it like raising your children in a different county and community to the one you grew up in?
Hmmm! It’s a lot especially because of the culture and belief system differences. Cultural difference in the sense that back home when a child misbehave, the whole community scolds the child. Here, they just look and pass. You cannot even scold your own child in public without someone feeling you are over doing it and calling cops on you. But we are making it work sha.

Who are you, aside being a mum?
I am a child of God, A daughter to my parent, a wife to my husband,
I am an entrepreneur and I have a YouTube channel.

What was your experience with healthcare when you were pregnant and during the delivery of your kid(s)?
Health care was different for all of them, because I had them at different locations. When I had my first, I had all the support I could get and Health care was good. I had my second during COVID and Health care was okay too but I had minimal support. I had my last in a completely different environment and I must say, I cherish the previous two. I was discharged from the hospital 2 days after a Cesarean section, and my husband was the major support I had. This was a bit difficult for me, but I pulled through.

What are your thoughts on family planning? Did you plan your kids or did you just go with the flow?
Do what works for you. I did not use family planning in between my kids because I am not very good with keeping to dates and all. However, after my last and I was sure I don't want any more kids, I did a permanent form of family planning.

What's your take on creating social media accounts for kids and showing them off on social media?
Well the first question is why? the second, is how do you use it? We created one for my first and we only just post to keep memories. In other words, this boils down to the parent to manage and know the reason why they want to create it and also ensure the child is not exposed early.

What advice(s) do you have for new mums in Africa?
Parenting is a journey that never ends, make time for yourself. Accept as much help as you can find, but make sure they are people you can trust.
Give them back to God, you can not do it on your own. Parenting and motherhood is a ministry or should I say a call on its own. Challenge yourself to please your maker with the talents (children) he has placed in your care; they are first His before they are yours.