Umi Spotlight: Adenike Badejoko

A mum in Ilorin, Nigeria

With Umi Spotlight, we are sharing the best of what other mothers have figured out both in their motherhood journey and in life.

On this edition, Adenike Badejoko opens up on so many aspects of her parenting experience - her childhood memory, what she wants her legacy with her kids to be, including the reason she had to hop on a family planning option. There are lots of gems in this interview for you to be inspired by, learn from and laugh about. Read more about her here

Going back to the way you were raised, are there any styles of parenting or traditions your parents raised you with that you now also do with your kid(s)?
Yes, there are styles of my mom’s traditions that I have upgraded to suit the current realities of our family.
One of them is praying at night. Growing up, we bonded over night prayers and gists, and I’m now incorporating those styles with my Badejokolets (like we call them).

What about your upbringing would you prefer not to repeat with your own journey as a parent?
Growing up with a single mom, there were a lot of days where we didn’t know where or when the next meal is coming from. In the periods where my mom got a windfall, she tried to overcompensate by buying all that we wanted at once. I’ll prefer not to repeat this pattern with my Badejokolets, with God’s help.

What attributes of yours or that of your husband have you began to see in your kids?
My husband is such a hardworking man and I’m already seeing traits of that in our Badejokolets. They want to do everything, including climbing the stool to wash plates.

What was postpartum like for you? Did you have help? Were there any complications with your mental and physical health? And if there was, how did you deal with it?
Postpartum was memorable for me, my two moms were always supportive during my postpartum days.
My mom-in-love came around and even when she had to leave early, she kept in touch via video calls and care. My mom was consistently helpful during the omugwo period and it was a great moment to bond, as my mom is my special somebody.
For our daughter, she spent 3 months and when we had our son, she stayed for 5 months. Because our startup was very demanding at this time. Mentally and physically I got great support from my family. I can never repay for this and I’m eternally grateful to hubby, our parents, church members and friends who stood by us during this time.

How do you relax? What is self care for you?
Self care is anything that helps me to fall in love with myself, that gives me time to be STILL and prioritize my connection with God.
I relax by sightseeing in nature, going to a waterbody and enjoying the view while being in awe of God’s incredible power and glory.

What do you miss most about your life before kids?
The mental freedom.

What was the best advice you got about being a mother to your kids?
Create unforgettable memories, they grow up fast. Fulfill your dreams so you won’t try to live it through them.

How would you describe your parenting style?
My parenting style is not one thing but I try to instill the right values while ensuring they’re truly enjoying their childhood.

What about motherhood and parenting do you still struggle with?
I struggle with the mental rigor of knowing I can’t be everything for my Badejokolets. I know not to do or be everything to them, yet I struggle with it.

How do you discipline your kids (instead of beating them)?
I ask them to go to their room or apologize if I’m not tempted to beat shege out of them (lol)

What's your happiest childhood memory?
My happiest memories were with my mom and all my siblings, singing and dancing to hymns and alujo’s. Dancing in the rain, listening to my elder sister (Sis. Bose)’s cartoon storytelling, eating my younger brother (Ola)’s very delicious egusi soup, hyping our last born (Michael)’s artistic drawings.... These are unforgettable memories for me. I cherish you all greatly including our small mummy, Sis Bukky.

What would you prefer your children’s memory of their childhood be?
I want their childhood memories to be of us being in the kitchen together making Chin Chin, singing and laughing, going for weekly walks in the neighborhood, picking different flowers and smelling them.

What is your proudest moment so far as a mum?
My proudest moment, hmm. It's a struggle to pick one thing but I’ll say building a startup while being a mom of 2 under 2 without losing myself will come close.

Who are you, aside from being a mum?
I’m an entrepreneur, Cofounder and Chief Operating Officer at Frootify - an healthcare platform empowering users to live their best lives without stress.
I am a Product Developer, a Writer and a Digital Marketing Professional with track records of strategically positioning brands for impact and profitability.

What was your experience with healthcare when you were pregnant and during the delivery of your kid(s)?
My first healthcare experience was at a general hospital and its not something I’ll like to delve into as it gave my husband and I PTSD.

What are your thoughts on family planning? Did you plan your kids or did you just go with the flow?
We had a miscarriage and got pregnant 3 months later. I gave birth to my daughter and got pregnant 3 months after (blame it on COVID-19 lockdown 🙈)

After the birth of our baby boy, my gynae ensured I got a contraceptive just 2 weeks after birth. As she said in her own words, “I don’t trust you and your husband” 🙈😂😆

Our Badejokolets were born a year apart from each other, so yeah I didn’t plan that. But I believe it has a supernatural hand in it. Initially, it used to be a cause of worry for me but I realized that everything was working together for our good. I no longer complain now as I’m deeply grateful to God for giving us the privilege of being stewards of our Badejokolets.

If you could do something different about your choice of career and family life, what would it be?
Absolutely nothing, there are so many possibilities here.

What advice(s) do you have for new mums in Africa?
Hello mama, you are a beautiful source of creation and you’ve completed the cycle of birthing a miracle. Hats off to you, you’re a gem.
On the days you feel low, never forget that you are valuable.
Always embrace your new reality, your life is truly beautiful…see it for what it truly is. Dance on merry days, Cry on painful days and Ask for help on trying days when you need to💗

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