Our Baby is Here, Yay! Now what?

Oh my God! Having a baby is truly a divine thing. Especially if it’s your first, it’s this surreal experience where you wonder how that even happened. Did I just do that? Did a whole human being just come out of me? These were some of the questions that brought me to tears in wonders of God’s order of things after I had my baby. Outside of that feeling is the reality of the responsibility for a new life, my health as a new mum, my want of a bond with my husband and a need to be sane doing it all. I don’t think I am alone in that feeling.

Congratulations to some of our subscribers who have just had a baby (special shoutout to my friend, Dupe for your special bundle of joy). This is a beautiful time in your life. So much joy, the smell of a new life, the warmness of fresh skin and the beauty of creation laying right on your chest and in your home.

Along with that joy is the need to recover (you did just bring a whole person into the world), the need to keep that baby alive, to keep you sane and also stay bonded to your husband.

Here are some useful tips (some that were useful for me and some that I wish I had done) to get you through the first weeks of postpartum;

Stock the house with food before the baby comes. We are Africans and with the arrival of a baby comes the need to feed the people who would visit. They will, trust me; it’s how family members show love. And you might be thinking that’s not your business, but it is still your house. So, some of the discussions on what people will eat will still come to you. To avoid all that trouble, stock up the house with foodstuffs once you are getting close to your due date. If you can, have some soups ready in the freezer. I and my husband come from a large family, so I knew to have the house stocked. I had help getting the foodstuffs and also with the soup ahead of the arrival of our baby. It was helpful.

Arrange for help: In whatever way this means for you, arrange for anyone who can help you after you have your baby. Have plans A-Z for Help. If you are relying on relatives for help, then it means nothing is cast in stone. Plans can change. So, have alternatives. If you will really be able to have any time to yourself to sleep, think, or be in the first few weeks, you will need Help. Make those plans before the baby comes.

Sleep. You need it. When they say, ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’, it sounds insane. But it is important. However you get your sleep, go for it. If it comes while the baby is suckling at your breast, get it. If it comes while some people are over to greet you on the arrival of your new baby, excuse yourself and go to sleep. Let the other people in the house entertain the guest. Sleep, my sister!

Immunise your baby: I do not know that we can afford not to have our kids immunised now, especially with all these diseases going around. I say you ensure that your baby gets whatever helps them be healthy. Immunise that kid.

Hydrate and eat well: Drink lots of water. The more water you drink, the more the flow of milk for breastfeeding your baby. Water is also good for you to get your body back to itself after what you had just experienced. So, don’t slack on it. Eat well. Eat healthy. You deserve it.

Breastfeed: If you have no medical reasons why you shouldn’t breastfeed, do it for your baby and for yourself. Your baby gets the essential nutrients that they need to stay healthy when you breastfeed. It can also reduce the chances of you having ovarian cancer and high blood pressure. Besides, you shed some weight when you breastfeed. Do it if you can. It’s really a beautiful experience. You can check out some of our tips on pumping, breastfeeding, dietary needs and formula feeding here.

Get your husband involved. It’s easy to think husbands might not be very helpful at this time. But that’s not true. Have him feed the child (you will need to pump for this to happen), or burp the child after feeding. I had my husband take almost all night shifts, so that I could sleep. They can rock the baby to sleep. They can clean. They can cook. Helping out with the baby is also a good bonding experience between them and the child. And you might even fall in love with him all over again just by seeing him take care of the child and you.

Look away from the mess. Your home may not be as clean as you might like. In fact, it probably never will be as clean as you would want ever again. But in those first weeks when people are coming and going, people who have no idea what your system is. You will need to overlook some mess. Clothes will be dirty, sinks will be full of dirty plates and the floor will be dirty. Don’t attempt to take care of it by yourself. That’s where all that help comes in.

Delegate. Talk to people who you trust about getting things done. Have them clean, cook, and help with the baby.

Heal your body first and have a plan. The first six weeks are crucial to the recovery of your body. Use it to recover. Your husband is not running away. He sure can hold himself. Cuddle, but focus on getting your body to a place of health before hanky panky. Then work out a plan for child spacing, if you don’t want any accidents to happen. Factor that in from the beginning to avoid stories that touch. Don’t leave it to chance. Plan for it. Carry your gynaecologist along as well so that they can guide you accordingly.

Stay in touch with your paediatrician so that you can carry them along on the growth and development of your baby. Also, it will be very helpful to have them close in the case of any changes that you are not familiar with about the baby.

Speak up on everything you are feeling. If you are not comfortable sharing with outsiders, talk to your husband about the emotional rollercoaster. If you do not feel well, let him know. If you think you need medical help, get yourself some. If you would prefer a support group, contact us (that’s all we do). But do not bury whatever you are feeling. Speak up to the places where you will be heard and not be judged.

Arrange for care for your husband as well. He won’t complain, but there will be a point where he might become overwhelmed. Don’t forget that while you are nursing the baby, he is nursing you and the baby. Let him have some time to himself to refresh as well. So that he can truly be there for you and your baby.

The first few weeks are crucial for you and your baby. Make it about both of you. Check on your husband from time to time though. You all need all the support that you can get. Do not hesitate to use it.

Congratulations again on your bundle of joy. We wish you a very beautiful ride on this journey.