Disciplining our children

On this one, I am so confused. I do not even know what to write. And I do not have any recommendations for you.

Like you, I have a child who is truly amazing. I feel blessed to have been chosen to be her mother. And I want to do all that I can to make sure that she is well grounded in all areas of life. That means that as much as I want to love on my child, pamper, nurture and praise her, I want to also be firm when it comes to disciplining her. I want her to grow to understand the difference between right and wrong. I want her to be a respectable person in society.

And we are getting to that point where she is just pressing all my buttons. She is testing all boundaries now trying to see if she can get away with whatever she does. What’s even funny is that a lot of the things that she is trying to push herself into are things that can harm her. If you have a toddler, you know what I am saying. At this point, I find myself shouting (screaming, really), and sometimes close to hitting her.

This is the thing, I have read a lot of papers on how damaging corporal punishment is on children’s physical and emotional well being. What’s even more intriguing is how history has it that corporal punishment was brought to Africa by colonialism. That means, it is not an African thing (like we always say).Our forefathers (parents) discipline using storytelling, analogies, and physical engagement (learning by doing). I have listened to a lot of parents who said that they do not use corporal punishment and their kids appear to be fine. And I promised that I would try whatever alternatives worked. Because in my opinion, hitting my kids should be a last resort. That means I am open to trying everything else that works without having to hit my children.

But I also belong to the school of thought (like many African parents) who believe that beating is a very essential form of discipline. I was beaten and I think I turned out alright (if I do say so myself). And when I look at how my child is already behaving at this point, I cannot blame my parents or teachers for beating me.

So, let’s talk. How do we raise our kids in this generation in the right way, without damaging their self esteem? What method of discipline is currently working for your kids?

How do we go from here?