To co-sleep or not?

This is one conversation that everyone seems to always contend with. My husband and I also had one before we welcomed our baby. Growing up in Nigeria, co-sleeping wasn’t an aberration.

It still isn't. In fact, this is true for a lot of African countries. Some parents co-sleep with their baby for economic reasons and others do it because of their belief in the culture of interdependency.

To provide a better perspective for the Mamas in our community, we did our research on the benefits and risks of co-sleeping. Let’s have a look at some of the pros and cons.

Pros

Night feeding/breastfeeding is made easier. I mean, the food is right there in the room where you both are sleeping as opposed to having to go to a different location to feed the child. Over time, your baby eventually gets comfortable and finds their way to where the ’food’ is. They can ‘help themselves’ while you continue sleeping.

The risk of Sudden Infant Deaths (SIDs) is low because you will be there to monitor whatever changes occur in their breathing or overall health during the night.

It helps children sleep better. Your own quality of sleep might be affected because of the feeding and crying over the night, but they will sleep well.

It helps build a great bond between you and your kid. If you work long hours during the day, the time that they are with you at night might make a great bonding time with your kids.

It saves cost. You won’t have to spend so much on making up another space for your new born. Just bring their cot into your room (or not) and you are good to go.

In the long run, it helps with your child’s self esteem. They don’t have to suffer separation anxiety because they feel safe with you being right there. And when the time is right, they move into their own space.

It could help you to be a more responsible parent, especially if you were the type who smokes and drinks. You wouldn’t want to damage your child’s health with your extra-curricular habits.

Potty training is a lot easier with them in the room. You’ll notice when they give signals since you are there with them. Not all signals can be decoded by a baby monitor.

Cons

Your quality of sleep is affected. But that just comes with the job. Your new boss is very demanding (sorry!).

There is the risk of suffocating the child while they sleep between you and your partner. You know, they are ‘very’ small.

Your sex life could be affected. How do you conveniently do the ‘hanky panky’ while your baby is in the same bed with you?

It could make the child too dependent on the parent. Some children cannot sleep without their parents holding them.

Our recommendation

The conclusion on whether to co-sleep or not depends solely on what you can afford and what works for you and your baby. There is no hard and fast rule to this and there should be no judgement as to what choice you decide to go with. That is your kid and you are responsible for their wellbeing. That includes how well they sleep.

However, if you choose to co-sleep with your child, try to follow these tips to ensure that they are safe:

Get a larger bed to give more space for the newest addition. Or, better still, get one of those cot that can be attached to your bed. That way, they technically have their own space beside you.

Reduce pillows, blankets and whatever it is that can cause heat or suffocate your child while they sleep.

Do not drink or smoke in bed or around the child.

Find a way to make your ‘hanky panky’ work outside their premise. You do not want your child to wake up to that image. You won’t want them traumatised for life.

Whatever you choose to do, embrace it wholeheartedly. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel ashamed for it.

Do what works for you and bear in mind how you want to raise your kids. We know you’ll make the best decision.

Well done, Mama.